Unreasonable Hospitality

by Will Guidara

Read on August 16, 2024

Rating: ★★★★ ☆

Summary

Will Guidara’s “Unreasonable Hospitality” is a captivating blend of memoir, business philosophy, and inspiration that chronicles the extraordinary journey of Eleven Madison Park (EMP) from excellence to world-class status. As the former co-owner of this three-Michelin-starred New York City restaurant, Guidara offers readers an insider’s view of what truly sets EMP apart in the cutthroat world of fine dining.

At the heart of Guidara’s philosophy is the audacious question: “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” This mindset propelled EMP beyond the realm of mere dining into an unforgettable experience. Guidara and his team embraced “unreasonable hospitality,” a concept that involved going to extreme lengths to personalize each guest’s visit. From cyber-sleuthing future patrons to greet them by name, to eavesdropping on conversations to inspire custom dishes, to maintaining a full-fledged workshop for creating bespoke toys – EMP didn’t just serve meals, it crafted memories that would last a lifetime.

What sets Guidara’s approach apart is his emphasis on empowering his team. He matched high expectations with an unprecedented level of ownership, allowing team members to become masters of their domains. This strategy not only elevated the guest experience but also fostered a sense of pride and innovation among the staff. The coffee enthusiast who became the resident “coffee czar” is just one example of how this approach transformed every aspect of EMP’s service.

Guidara’s book is more than a behind-the-scenes look at a world-class restaurant; it’s a call to action for readers to infuse “unreasonable hospitality” into their own lives. Whether in professional settings, social circles, or local communities, Guidara challenges us to find ways to make others’ experiences truly magical.

“Unreasonable Hospitality” serves as both an inspiration and a practical guide. It demonstrates that true excellence comes not just from perfecting your craft, but from an unwavering commitment to exceeding expectations in every interaction. Guidara’s insights extend far beyond the restaurant industry, offering valuable lessons for anyone looking to elevate their personal or professional relationships through extraordinary acts of consideration and care.

In a world where most people are asking, “What’s in it for me?”, Guidara’s book stands as a testament to the transformative power of giving people more than you’ll ever get in return. It reminds us that in hospitality – and in life – it’s not just what you do, but how you make people feel that leaves a lasting impact.

Key Takeaways

  1. Embrace intentional living: Every action, no matter how small, shapes your character and impact. Remember, “How you do one thing is how you do everything.” Hold yourself and your team to this standard of excellence in all endeavors.
  2. Be a thermostat, not a thermometer. As a leader, don’t just react to the environment around you. Instead, set the energy and tone for your team, actively influencing the atmosphere and culture.
  3. Listen more than you speak. You aren’t always going to agree with everything you hear, but if you aren’t listening then you’ll miss the important things that that you’re blind to. Your team is a critical asset to you as a leader, so make sure you give them the psychological safety to speak up, and listen when they do. Criticism offers you an invitation to have your perspective challenged and grow.
  4. Do less, and do it well.
  5. Being unreasonably hospitable doesn’t have to be expensive and it doesn’t need to be luxury. Hospitality is about being more thoughtful, not giving more.

Favorite Quotes

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

- Page 4

Run toward what you want, as opposed to away from what you don’t want.

- Page 54

You need to be as unreasonable in how you build your team as you are in how you build your product or experience.

- Page 83

Success comes in cans; failure comes in can’ts.

- Page 106

“It might not work” is a terrible reason not to try an idea.

- Page 110

Sometimes the best time to promote people is before they are ready.

- Page 233

Personal Thoughts

How this book changed my perspective

Reading “Unreasonable Hospitality” has altered my understanding of hospitality and leadership, extending far beyond the confines of the restaurant setting in which Guidara lived. Guidara’s central question, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?”, has become a powerful catalyst for pushing my own boundaries, inspiring me to take more calculated risks in both personal and professional realms.

Perhaps the most profound shift in my perspective comes from Guidara’s redefinition of hospitality as “being more thoughtful, not giving more.” This idea has challenged me to seek creative, personalized ways to make others feel valued, simply paying attention and hearing people to find things that are meaningful to them. In a world often driven by self-interest, “Unreasonable Hospitality” serves as a refreshing call to prioritize others’ experiences, demonstrating that true fulfillment often comes from giving more than we receive. This book hasn’t just inspired me to be more hospitable in my personal life; it’s provided a new lens through which to view leadership and customer service at work. Guidara’s insights have illuminated the transformative power of going above and beyond in our interactions with others, reminding me that it’s not just what we do but how we make people feel that leaves a lasting impact.

Practical applications

  1. Add the question “What would you do if you couldn’t fail?” to my project template. Before starting any new project or when I’m facing seemingly unresolvable challenges, ask myself this question to push beyond self-imposed limitations.

  2. Apply the “How you do one thing is how you do everything” principle to elevate my performance in all areas of life.

  3. Remember that I am a “thermostat” for my team. I should be actively setting the tone and energy.

  4. Make a conscious effort to listen more than I speak. This is something that is echoed by Charles Duhigg in his book “Supercommunicators”, leaders should speak 10-20x less than others in the room.

  5. Look for small, thoughtful ways to make others feel valued. Focus on being more attentive rather than giving more materially.

Questions for further exploration

  • If everyone adopted the mindset of being unreasonably hospitable, how would it change our public discourse and relationships with those whom we disagree?

Connections

  1. Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg
    • Duhigg talks about how to leverage communication as a means of hospitality in conversation. How do we help others feel seen, welcome, and loved in conversation?
  2. How to Know a Person by David Brooks
    • Brooks also talks about understanding other people, listening more than we speak, and finding ways to relate with people in unique and meaningful ways.

Last updated: 2024-08-19